fate.destiny.chance.love.souls.: July 2007

Monday, July 30, 2007

=B-R-E-A-K=

I need a little vacation.

For now, it is back to good ol' "Dear diary"...

Tada...

xoxoxo

Shu Ling Estrella @ 12:12 PM ~*~ |

**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**

Sunday, July 22, 2007

personality test!

Shu Ling Estrella @ 11:49 PM ~*~ |

**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**

IQ test!

Shu Ling Estrella @ 11:38 PM ~*~ |

**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

a talk over lovely haagen dazs ice-cream with von dearie abt friendships and relationships led me to realise more the importance of self-care.

it comes to a point in time when your friends become fewer and fewer and your need for companionship increases with age.

it comes to a point when u realise that if u dun care for yourself, you'll be the only one hurt in the end. over and over. again and again.

i have been more blessed in the aspect that cos i built up and valued the importance of my individual friendships with my friends, i had always had someone to turn to. or vice versa.

but as i grow older, i also stopped entertaining the fantasy of "friends forever".. i valued my friendships, all my sustaining ones, long ones, short ones. i also welcome new friendships in my life. but i stop thinking that friends are forever. or rather i temper that notion by reminding myself of the stages of life each human had to go through. times when your friends are abundant. times when your friends become lesser with age. times when you realise you are very much alone.

because i know if i dun take care of myself, i would be sucked dry.

it also comes to a point when i start to comprehend the meaning of relationship intertwining with companionship, not love.
there are times u r so hurt, so disillusioned with friendships that you start looking to be with someone just so u have a pillar. and i am starting to comprehend and understand the people who do.

depsite all these realisations, what i'm grateful for is, as many of u consensus upon, that i have not grown to be more cynical and bitter because of all these. i am still very much the me i was when i was younger, in terms of certain values and dreams being still very grounded with me.

and i'm glad. i dun wish to lose the spark in me. so i can continue to illuminate the lives of those which have darkened and whom i care about.

big HUGZ for vonnie=) can't wait to see ya again on sat!

Shu Ling Estrella @ 10:55 AM ~*~ |

**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**

Monday, July 16, 2007

The peace... is like a morning after a night of storm..

I did some thing i am proud of today... something that i can say lifted a huge burden off my mind.

and i cun have done it without the usual supporters.

HUGZ

********

Touched.

It's one of the most magical feelings in the world, as i told a dear friend tonight.

I treasure each moment i feel touched, more so for the past 2 weeks, which have alternated between simple joys and hellish moments.

the feeling is like the light at the end of the tunnel.

Remember the next moment you are touched, wun ya? =)

Shu Ling Estrella @ 12:25 AM ~*~ |

**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Rejuvenated

I realise that the human, though flawed, can be really resilient when the inner strength is called for.

The morning air in the park helped to clear my clouded head loads.

i am ready to begin again.

And i promise to put more focus on self-care.

Thanks to all friends who have kept me company, either to distract or to chastise.

Love yall.

=) Ling

Shu Ling Estrella @ 10:04 PM ~*~ |

**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**

Friday, July 13, 2007

i should have known.

i am such a self-absorbed freak manz. i almost want to hit myself on the head and say "get out of your self-absorption!"

well at least i can get on with my pathetic little life right now.

seriously.

Shu Ling Estrella @ 4:45 AM ~*~ |

**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

"Addicted"
Kelly Clarkson

It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

*****

Shu Ling Estrella @ 10:57 AM ~*~ |

**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**

new photos blog

I decided to separate my pics from my personal blog, so that i can leave this space here free to do my writing and blogging, when Nadeeeeyah sent me an invite to Multiply.

Thought this would make things less messier. haha it's a rather like my old webshots site. But the Multiply one is strictly for photos of events and little anecdotes on the events only. My space here is still for my personal rants and so on about stuff.

here you go!

http://thatpieceofsky.multiply.com

Shu Ling Estrella @ 1:11 AM ~*~ |

**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Ghost of you and me

What am I supposed to do
With all these blues
Haunting me, everywhere, no matter what I do
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
I cant let go
When will this night be over

I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

Seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by
Phantom ships, lost at sea
And one of them is mine
Raising my glass, I sing a toast to the midnight sky
I wonder why
The stars don't seem to guide me

I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

The ghost of you and me
When will it set me free
I hear the voices call
Following footsteps down the hall
Trying to save what's left of my heart and soul

Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
I can't let go
When will the night be over

I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

******

every. single. line. of this song totally fits into what i am feeling right now. Blast it. this song should never have existed.

Shu Ling Estrella @ 10:48 PM ~*~ |

**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**

i am so beat now it is not funny.. over the past week, i have mastered the skill of sleeping while standing in the train. and i can even fall asleep while waiting for the bus.

despite the tiredness of this week, it has been a good week for me all in all. there were more bday celebrations by dear friends.. and this week, Ling has been touched in more ways than one. Although conflicting thoughts still continue to bombard me and I am in the middle of some self-decision making process now, I am truly a v v blessed girl still.

i'll share the pics with ya next time. still trying to collate all my pics and now am so tired i'm gonna fall asleep in front of my laptop soon.

nitez and love to all. =)

your personal shining star,
shuling estrella

Shu Ling Estrella @ 1:51 AM ~*~ |

**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

more bday celeb pics and what i did on my day off 3rd july...

feng gave me this on my bday...

isn't it unique?? i called it the "starburst" necklace.. cos it looks like a burst of stars... she said she chose it bcos of its uniquity and that it looks different from the other star accessories i own. i loved it of cos!=)

and ying surprised me with this...

Burberry card-holder
i was really shocked by this i must say. cos it isn't something i would buy for myself, simply because of the price. but ying says she feels for my age, i should own something branded just like my other friends do. it suits my age better. haha to be honest, i dun really care. But i was really touched. cos i knew she must have saved up like crazy for it and she's only working part-time now.

my darlin' sistaz.. really touched by the efforts and thoughts they put into in my gifts, trying to get me something i want on a day that holds alot of imptce to me.=)

*****

I could claim a day off for working that sunday playing "babysitter" to a dozen kids! so here's how i spent my day...

went to grace's convo ceremony... she's graduating with my fave colour--blue!!! ahhh well... since i wasn't smart enough to study law, i would not have a chance to wear the gown with the blue ribbon... wahhahah...

The officially graduated grace, in full academic gown and cap and scroll.. so proud of u babe.. u have worked hard for it.

a treat at goodwood park hotel from grace after the ceremony... i'm pretty amazed at the way grace can eat...

met sha babe after work for dinner at amk hub. we had good ol' Fish and Co's Seafood platter for two. actually in my opinion, the seafood platter for one would have been enough for us both, till i saw Sha eat. manz.... haha she reaaally can eat. she and grace should become food partners *shakes head* hahahaha.. i'm quite a lousy eater and hence i doubt they really can enjoy to the full extent eating with me wahahahha...

we shared the hot fudge chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream too. oooh how i love warm cake oozing choc fudge with ice-cold ice-cream--the sensation is heavenly.

Sha babe's bday gifts for me. a pretty, chic magnetic handphone case and a handmade notebook. there are stars studded all over it! my first handmade bday gift this year. how i love handmade gifts... =) always felt it was more sincere to make a gift heeez.. she even tried to take the pic with that picture of the star in the bkgrd. hahahah... thanks sha babe!! love u!!! and thanks for the great company as usual... my foodie fren no. 2!!!

Shu Ling Estrella @ 12:41 AM ~*~ |

**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**

Monday, July 02, 2007

1st July passed happily despite the GST hikes...

Ling was a happie gal on her birthday with company from her family and grace dear.

Grace and me in Chocz at Marina Square

Our Divine Decadence dessert

Thanks dearie for so sweetly accompanying me the whole day despite being tired and tied-up-to your work... cheers to another year of friendship and another birthday celebrated together=)

***********

After a sumptous steamboat dinner with dear family at AMK, we went back for my birthday cake!
(haha.. i was in the midst of excitedly trying on my new top from Mango, one of my buys of the day from Marina Square, for mummy when we got rushed by feng to come out and cut cake... so a diffnt top from the day out with gracie)