|
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
my little birthday wishlist;)
Hi guys, this is just a reference for if you dunno wad to get for my birthday. otherwise, if you have already gotten my gift, or have something in mind for me, or want to share something you find special with me, you need not refer to this list at all.
i know some of the items i'm asking for is not exactly cheap. so the suggestion here is that, maybe some of yall might want to pool together money to get me an item. you can either interact with each other on the comments pg, or let me know how much you wish to sponsor towards the item you picked, or just get me a voucher from the outlet of the particular brand eg. Guess, and i can make up the rest of the cash and get the item for myself.
- Anna Sui "Dolly Girl" fragrance ( retailing at $59 for a 30ml bottle at Metro, maybe cheaper at Sasa)
- Christian Dior "Dior Me" limited edition fragrance. (price unavailable)
- a Guess watch, leather strap, square face, with a star, heart and "Jewel" accessories. ( item code 75558L2 for white strap, 75558L1 for black strap. i personally prefer the white strap better:) but my sis thinks the black one will look nicer on me. it'll be up to you to decide which'll look nicer on me;). retailing at $159)
- (still considering) A long wallet, preferably black. else a Guess one in a trendy colour will do. i actually saw one particular Guess one at Metro Woodlands today retailing at $59, but this is pending in light of the fact that I haven't seen many and Metro's selection is limited. only one variety actually. but cos i have been working lately and seldom shop, so i haven't really gone to scout for a nice one. This is for those who know my taste well and know what kind of wallet i may like. else it's ok.
- a Guess handbag. not too narrow or too big.
- a kate spade bag.....haha! the one i have been lusting for months.(see entry a month back dated May10) ok i know this is too much to ask for, but i can't really find another that caught my eye. anyway i don't even know if they still have it in stock, cos i just went Takashimaya last Friday with my mum and sis and i don't see it on display in the branch there, and i didn't ask them. ok, a nice tote sports bag along the lines of Nike or Adidas also can. but i didn't see any i really like too heh. maybe if u find one which is nice and you think it suits me, then that'll make me a happy girl too!:)
- a book "French women don't get fat" by Mirielle Guiliano.
- a charm bracelet. think cute, interesting, unique dangles. i haven't come across one that i deem any of those 3 traits, so maybe you can surprise me.:)
Please, please don't get me soft toys, clothes(cos u dunno how big i am and u may underestimate my size), silver jewelry(cos i have tons) and ornaments of any sorts. if you really really feel my wishlist is too much to ask for, you could get me vouchers or gorgeous earrings instead. i love super-long dangles kind. that's all yeah. have fun!
Shu Ling Estrella @ 12:29 AM ~*~ |
**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**
Friday, June 24, 2005
MARS
Mars. God of war to the Romans. an important and awe-inspiring figure in the world of Rome.
Mars. aka Ares to the Greeks. appears to be a brave warrior on the warfront but a coward afraid of failure.
Mars. a Taiwanese drama serial i was hooked on recently. i finished the box in 4 days again.
i was prepared to be bored by the endless cute and lovey-dovey scenes Taiwanese serials are so popular for. watched it cos i savaged all the vcds in my house and am even watching some of my faves on repeat mode. so when my sis borrowed Mars for me, i was prepared for the stereotypical plot but decided to go thru it for lack of energy and better thgs to do between my crazy lifestyle now.
though i wasn't super impressed by Big S(u remember shancai from meteor garden) and Vic Chow's portrayals of their characters, put simply, Big S cant act and Vic Chow was just a pretty boy, the plot intrigued me.
pyschology of the mind. a born pyscho. co-existence of intense love and intense hatred for the person closest to you. a unique portrayal of twins. the fear of failure. the longing to be in the centre of the crowd. to be recognised. loved. somehow the plot spoke to me in ways i thot it wun. awakened feelings i wanted to keep locked, numbed always. seduced out all the feelings i wanted not to be seen. coaxed me out of the emotional shell i had put myself in. criticised all my self-pitying self. and after all these, emptying me of nothing, threw me back into a tighter shell, told me never to trust. never again.
if u dun have too bad of a opinion of taiwanese serials, maybe u guys wud like to watch it sometime.
Shu Ling Estrella @ 12:35 AM ~*~ |
**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**
Saturday, June 18, 2005
welcome back to me...
ahhhhhh.. breathing the air of the internet again... and dropping a lil bloggie into this almost-forgotten blog.
work has certainly changed my whole living routine. get a load of my life now.
start work: 6.30-7pm. finish work: 9-11pm. dinner: 11pm onwards. watch vcds: 11pm to 4-5am. bedtime: 4-5am. rise and shine: 1-2pm. eat lunch: 2-3pm. prep for work: 4-5pm.
with the occasional breakfast or lunch date with a friend, at which i have to set my alarm clock, even if the lunch date is at 12pm. waking up any earlier than 12pm is becoming a slow impossibility to me.
hows that?
i'm probably going to hear protests from the health-conscious few, BUT this routine is becoming a.... routine. hard-to-change kind.
i remember waking up one morning, or should i say one noon, at 1230pm, and i was actually rudely awakened by some renovation process ongoing at the unit above mine. and i rem wanting to throw a pillow at the ceiling and shout out some vulgarities and scream at them not to make so much noise so early in the morning other people are still sleeping, then i remember it's actually noon-time and half the world are about their business. in fact my dad has finished vacuuming the entire house, over my snores and dreams.
bleargh.
tt explains why i have been missing from the WOI(World of Internet). normally i return home too lazy and too sluggish after my late dinner to want to do much except laze in front of the telly. in a matter of 4 days, i finished a 30-parter old serial thanks to my lousy sleeping habits heh.
work is settling in for me. i'm getting along with my job, but not the people. maybe it's cos i have always been too quiet, and hence considered "dao". maybe its also cos i have never been part of the fun and popular grp. or maybe i'm just past the giggly 17-yr-old, wanting-to-be-more-mature 18-yr-old, acting-worldly-and-mature-at-19-yr-old stages. ok i think i'm being a lil age-ist here. i did meet some nice ppl who are younger than me and dun act act in any manner, but the rest.... argh... lets just say we dun get along.
dun get me wrong. i dun really wanna grow up too fast myself, its not fun to behave or think like a fogey 40-year-old when i'm barely 21. but but.. maybe there's a generation gap. i wanna relish my youth still. just not in a giggly, must-go-everywhere-in-pairs-cannot-be-seen-without-a-group way.
once upon a time, i would have longed to be part of the pretty and popular and fun, but now, i just wanna do my job to the best, savour the nice compliments some customers are generous enough to give, and look forward to my paycheck on payday.
transitional period?
i dun think so. think it has become a matter of priorities to me. this first long-time part-time job has given me a glimpse of the too-adult world in a matter of 3 weeks. backstabbing complaints and insinuations, unsympathy and all-for-myselfness. it was only a glimpse, and lucky i'm not realy involved.
i guess a few of you are all-too-familiar with what i'm saying, having worked or are working. that's why i'm trying to set my priorities straight. i give u the best of myself when i'm working, u give me my money but once it's done, i'm outta there. and oh, one more thing. friends are those out there who have pulled through all these years with me.
actually i dun have to convince myself of anything. i just have to keep myself level-headed. and tell ya guys what i have been up to. and thanks to those babes who have been concerned over my last entry. i'm really fine. if work is of any benefit, it puts me out of whatever depression i'm feeling at the moment.
and i'm still loving my job. still loving the smiles from the appreciative customers. and the compliments when they asked for suggestions and queries about getting around the small little safari. i loved the rush that overwhelms me when a customer steps away happy and grateful for the help i had rendered.
ok gonna sleep now. or read? its rather early still. heh. but am tired! first day of period and the pain's bad as ever... the ass of a supervisor refused to let me off my duty tonite unless i produce an MC. how the hell to get an MC when all the MCPs of the doctors are as ass as the supervisor to refuse to grant MC for "a pain that comes monthly and is hence tahan-able"?? bleargh. so i was giving the customers painful smiles and pacing around to regulate my bloodflow like the restless tiger in its enclosure we visited that day.
please feel free to leave comments or sms me or meet me up for lunch or breakfast whenever. i would love the company since i haven't seen some of yall in quite some time. and your company would keep me going heh.
p.s. flo dear, hope u r really better today. and i really mean wad i said today. u aren't below average in any way ok? well to me at least, u r more than tt! hugs
cat: are we gonna meet up or not? bz lil gal, dun get too caught up in ur woes and meet ur girlfriend here for a cuppa tea soon!heh
ida, yh: dunnno if u guys still read my blog but hope we can meet up again soon yeah? sorry da, cun meet ya last week lets arrange another time for next week? jus msg me.
syl: haha dunno if u keep up with my bloggie too but do sms me whenever. maybe we can meet again soon too!
ruth, jy: glad we are meetin again next week!! haha.. dunno if u guys read my blog often too but just glad and wanna tell ya glad we made the effort to keep in touch.
grace: hello gal! i know u r gonna be real busy again with your new internship and family and CB job but leave me a free slot when u can fit me in huh? haha. ok bz gal, jus msg me anytime.
zitian: haha i dunno if u keep up with my blog too btu hope ur job's gg fine and we can meet up soon. sorrie i cun come last fri.
last thought:
i think some of my friends are going through a certain transitional stage themselves. at some points in our lives we all do. the 21-yr-olds are becoming-and-behaving-older-than-their-said-age.
is it really a matter of experiences? or the whole getting-too-caught-up-with-wanting-to-become-more-mature? there is the fame game, the money game, the beauty game, and now i would say, there is the mature game too.
the wanting to accumulate maturity as if it adds a label of triumph to your life to prove that you are not naive and innocent.(being naive and innocent is becoming a crime of life) and then there are more that want more than their piece of cake. immersing in the pool of experiences to accumulate more merits of maturity to add to their triumphs in life. to a point where it seems to me that being considered mature is no longer about learning as u live, but rather, a tag that declares u are a class above ur peers, a tag that seems to me, no different from fame and glory. everyone wants to be considered more mature. being mature puts ya in a class above those naive and innocent.
am i being too critical? i dunno. but i'm hearing too much of those flashing the maturity tag as though its sth tt makes ya a class above others. like being mature is because of how much u experienced, not what u learn of life. quantity not quality. ppl make a fuss of their experiences. how much i went through in that period time blah blah. it changed my whole person. 360degrees. overnight, from a 21-year-old, i have become 21 x 2=42-year-old.
bleargh, they say experiences change people in more ways than one. but a total change? no wonder fairy tales stopped at the adult world. it is definitely more intriguing to study the psychology of children.
Shu Ling Estrella @ 12:17 AM ~*~ |
**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**
Thursday, June 02, 2005
a flow of confused thoughts. compassionate listening ears. waiting. yearning for some answers. longing for a key to fit into the hole left behind by the gnawing of insensibilities. cover-ups. struggles. filling up of voids. senseless dreams. creeping back on the right path amidst the blacker-than-ever darkness. crying. dammed up. touch. refused. seeking for The answer.
i dun even know what i am writing abt anymore.
and i dun want. dun want to keep thinking abt the results of this semester. of whh the thought will only be temporarily halted when i'm working. dun want to compare. dun wan to ask. dun wan to feel miserable. dun wan to let it mean more to me than it shd. LORD!! chase this away from me. or is it a test u know i have never been able to pass that You torment me so? why can't i just cover up how much i do care? even if it's too late. too late.
shoot me. really. blow that gun into my blasted brain.
Shu Ling Estrella @ 3:40 PM ~*~ |
**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
regrets. what an easy way to slip into this realm and what a hateful word it is.
i shun blame anyone but myself for the poor results. for pulling my already-low CAP even lower with the disgusting results of this semester. and i shd have considered that i would be regretting and bearing the consequences of it and pushed myself to study harder during the exams.
and i succumbed to lack of motivation and undue distractions. and so i should not even be given the right to regret now. and suffer the consequences now.
try harder next sem. results aren't everything. don't be too bothered. oh how easy these words of comfort come and how difficult it is to follow them.
why did i... if only... what if... useless useless useless considerations at this point.
and yet i know i must move on. and leave the shadows of a disgusting semester behind. and draw lessons from the laziness of yesterdays.
and move on gal. i know u can do it. u should remember how being so bothered by exams and results led you to in your relationships with others.
but the problem is, i do give a damn about the results. NOW. and its too late.
the pass with merit seemed even further of reach now. and while my mind will slowly focus towards planning the next semester's modules with greater care and calculate grade point averages to salvage my poor score, let me sink into regret for a moment and let it be a lesson to my weak character.
Shu Ling Estrella @ 12:42 PM ~*~ |
**~~**~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~~**~~**
|
