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Thursday, April 05, 2007
As a Human
Human-to-human relationship is one of the most complicated thgs Life has created for us.. It need not be, but Humans chose to complicate it more for themselves as well. But along the way, i have learned that things dun always turn out the way i want.. and when i dun get along with someone, or dun see eye-to-eye with someone i have stopped learning to blame myself.. and to trust myself more.
That's why right now, i just stop letting the comments bother me much... as i have better things to worry about. Lesson learned: The more attention you pay to a certain thing, the more u fret over it, the more u have let the other party achieve his/her purpose in letting him/her know that s/he has gotten to u. When these people have shown that they aren't worth bothering about.
Most importantly, i have discovered the importance of respect. respect for someone you have chosen to form a human relationship with. When you start feeling you are above a person to be able to see through the person and be able to strip the person of all the so-called disguises, it isn't a human relationship. It's just a feeding your own ego to make yourself feel better knowing you have stripped the other person. Narcissism. Thinking yourself to be very smart/mature in doing all these when in reality, you have failed to look deep into your own ugly character and the shadows you are hiding in. Feeding upon the flaws of others to fill up your bottomless pit. Weak. Cowardly. True care comes from acceptance. Reprimands yes, but acceptance as well. Acceptance that you are a human as well. And not a beast to be trampled upon.
Anyway, passing through the human relationships thus far, every has a story to tell me, and teach me. They build me... into the person i am. What i need to learn is to make my stand amongst all these stories.
It has failed to affect me.. the words. Cos maybe, true colours causes me to lose respect for the person as a human, the respect that I give so easily and duely to every human relationship I chose to form, mainly cos i felt it's only deserving of a person of the same species as me. Losing respect of a human, even if the person has chosen to leave my life, is certainly a rarity in my life. But when i do, ehhh!... It says alot. Those who have known me long enough know that when i cease to care for a person, it really says alot about the person. Cos i'm pretty well-known for my generosity and acceptance of the people I am linked to.
In a way it is good. I learned to stop reproaching myself and have more confidence in my own judgment. As a Human. Gambatte neh! Ling!
I have vented my feelings. I dun even need to name the person. And in which case, this is the last entry that'll be dedicated in this memory. Cheers. R.I.P.
To you all I care about, I love you...
Ling
Shu Ling Estrella @ 10:52 PM ~*~ |
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