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Saturday, June 18, 2005
welcome back to me...
ahhhhhh.. breathing the air of the internet again... and dropping a lil bloggie into this almost-forgotten blog.
work has certainly changed my whole living routine. get a load of my life now.
start work: 6.30-7pm. finish work: 9-11pm. dinner: 11pm onwards. watch vcds: 11pm to 4-5am. bedtime: 4-5am. rise and shine: 1-2pm. eat lunch: 2-3pm. prep for work: 4-5pm.
with the occasional breakfast or lunch date with a friend, at which i have to set my alarm clock, even if the lunch date is at 12pm. waking up any earlier than 12pm is becoming a slow impossibility to me.
hows that?
i'm probably going to hear protests from the health-conscious few, BUT this routine is becoming a.... routine. hard-to-change kind.
i remember waking up one morning, or should i say one noon, at 1230pm, and i was actually rudely awakened by some renovation process ongoing at the unit above mine. and i rem wanting to throw a pillow at the ceiling and shout out some vulgarities and scream at them not to make so much noise so early in the morning other people are still sleeping, then i remember it's actually noon-time and half the world are about their business. in fact my dad has finished vacuuming the entire house, over my snores and dreams.
bleargh.
tt explains why i have been missing from the WOI(World of Internet). normally i return home too lazy and too sluggish after my late dinner to want to do much except laze in front of the telly. in a matter of 4 days, i finished a 30-parter old serial thanks to my lousy sleeping habits heh.
work is settling in for me. i'm getting along with my job, but not the people. maybe it's cos i have always been too quiet, and hence considered "dao". maybe its also cos i have never been part of the fun and popular grp. or maybe i'm just past the giggly 17-yr-old, wanting-to-be-more-mature 18-yr-old, acting-worldly-and-mature-at-19-yr-old stages. ok i think i'm being a lil age-ist here. i did meet some nice ppl who are younger than me and dun act act in any manner, but the rest.... argh... lets just say we dun get along.
dun get me wrong. i dun really wanna grow up too fast myself, its not fun to behave or think like a fogey 40-year-old when i'm barely 21. but but.. maybe there's a generation gap. i wanna relish my youth still. just not in a giggly, must-go-everywhere-in-pairs-cannot-be-seen-without-a-group way.
once upon a time, i would have longed to be part of the pretty and popular and fun, but now, i just wanna do my job to the best, savour the nice compliments some customers are generous enough to give, and look forward to my paycheck on payday.
transitional period?
i dun think so. think it has become a matter of priorities to me. this first long-time part-time job has given me a glimpse of the too-adult world in a matter of 3 weeks. backstabbing complaints and insinuations, unsympathy and all-for-myselfness. it was only a glimpse, and lucky i'm not realy involved.
i guess a few of you are all-too-familiar with what i'm saying, having worked or are working. that's why i'm trying to set my priorities straight. i give u the best of myself when i'm working, u give me my money but once it's done, i'm outta there. and oh, one more thing. friends are those out there who have pulled through all these years with me.
actually i dun have to convince myself of anything. i just have to keep myself level-headed. and tell ya guys what i have been up to. and thanks to those babes who have been concerned over my last entry. i'm really fine. if work is of any benefit, it puts me out of whatever depression i'm feeling at the moment.
and i'm still loving my job. still loving the smiles from the appreciative customers. and the compliments when they asked for suggestions and queries about getting around the small little safari. i loved the rush that overwhelms me when a customer steps away happy and grateful for the help i had rendered.
ok gonna sleep now. or read? its rather early still. heh. but am tired! first day of period and the pain's bad as ever... the ass of a supervisor refused to let me off my duty tonite unless i produce an MC. how the hell to get an MC when all the MCPs of the doctors are as ass as the supervisor to refuse to grant MC for "a pain that comes monthly and is hence tahan-able"?? bleargh. so i was giving the customers painful smiles and pacing around to regulate my bloodflow like the restless tiger in its enclosure we visited that day.
please feel free to leave comments or sms me or meet me up for lunch or breakfast whenever. i would love the company since i haven't seen some of yall in quite some time. and your company would keep me going heh.
p.s. flo dear, hope u r really better today. and i really mean wad i said today. u aren't below average in any way ok? well to me at least, u r more than tt! hugs
cat: are we gonna meet up or not? bz lil gal, dun get too caught up in ur woes and meet ur girlfriend here for a cuppa tea soon!heh
ida, yh: dunnno if u guys still read my blog but hope we can meet up again soon yeah? sorry da, cun meet ya last week lets arrange another time for next week? jus msg me.
syl: haha dunno if u keep up with my bloggie too but do sms me whenever. maybe we can meet again soon too!
ruth, jy: glad we are meetin again next week!! haha.. dunno if u guys read my blog often too but just glad and wanna tell ya glad we made the effort to keep in touch.
grace: hello gal! i know u r gonna be real busy again with your new internship and family and CB job but leave me a free slot when u can fit me in huh? haha. ok bz gal, jus msg me anytime.
zitian: haha i dunno if u keep up with my blog too btu hope ur job's gg fine and we can meet up soon. sorrie i cun come last fri.
last thought:
i think some of my friends are going through a certain transitional stage themselves. at some points in our lives we all do. the 21-yr-olds are becoming-and-behaving-older-than-their-said-age.
is it really a matter of experiences? or the whole getting-too-caught-up-with-wanting-to-become-more-mature? there is the fame game, the money game, the beauty game, and now i would say, there is the mature game too.
the wanting to accumulate maturity as if it adds a label of triumph to your life to prove that you are not naive and innocent.(being naive and innocent is becoming a crime of life) and then there are more that want more than their piece of cake. immersing in the pool of experiences to accumulate more merits of maturity to add to their triumphs in life. to a point where it seems to me that being considered mature is no longer about learning as u live, but rather, a tag that declares u are a class above ur peers, a tag that seems to me, no different from fame and glory. everyone wants to be considered more mature. being mature puts ya in a class above those naive and innocent.
am i being too critical? i dunno. but i'm hearing too much of those flashing the maturity tag as though its sth tt makes ya a class above others. like being mature is because of how much u experienced, not what u learn of life. quantity not quality. ppl make a fuss of their experiences. how much i went through in that period time blah blah. it changed my whole person. 360degrees. overnight, from a 21-year-old, i have become 21 x 2=42-year-old.
bleargh, they say experiences change people in more ways than one. but a total change? no wonder fairy tales stopped at the adult world. it is definitely more intriguing to study the psychology of children.
Shu Ling Estrella @ 12:17 AM ~*~ |
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