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Thursday, May 26, 2005
a new experience
freaking tired now.. but yet happy. its the kind of feeling when all the energy seems to have been drained out of you, but ur muscles are aching in a very deliciously drained kind of way, and ur mind feels so thereupatically at ease and calm.
maybe its cos my mind has been rotting for too long.. too given to distractions and daydreaming and senseless imaginations that now it feels good to be able to put it to some use.
and i feel happy. really happy. i know this is too much gushing for one job, but its the first time i feel so happy at a part-time job. maybe cos it's an entirely new experience for me, having a kind of long-term part-time job. in the past, i just do one-off jobs. like each job wud only last for a few days. the money's good, but there's no real sense of belonging or permanency, like a hi-bye kind of thg.
maybe its cos i really hunger for some stability and permanency at this stage in my life. i know its sth one desire and not realistically possible all the time, but its still a hope i hold.
maybe as time goes by, i may get so used to the repeated duties that it'll become habit and stale, but i dun wanna think about it before i have come to it. right now, i just wanna treasure the new experience and relish it totally. gain as much as i can learn.
it helps also that for the past few days, i have been trained by nice ppl. granted they are guarded(at this age), but there is still a lot of laughing and joking and sharing of experiences and information. my mind is so full i dun have a single minute during my job to think of anything else. in this way, the time i spent on senseless thinking becomes alot lesser, only till i have finished my job or before. but even then, i try to use the time to build up on knowledge for my job and hence am pulled away from those useless thoughts again.
i'm happy for now. really happy. simply happy. and it doesnt matter that i still got alot of thinking abt myself to do. i know the answer will be shown to me bit by bit. step by step. and right now, i just wanna relish this job and welcome it as a new experience for me. to see what it has in store for me. and i know as time goes by, i'll find what i am looking for naturally.
Shu Ling Estrella @ 1:19 AM ~*~ |
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