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Wednesday, April 27, 2005
tired...
am utterly drained today.. 2 papers in a day is no joke.
was so wanting to go hm after the first morning paper. as i watched longingly while my fellow module mates headed homeward, i trudged to an isolated bench in the old admin block with my lunch and attempted to study for the next 5 hours for my evening paper. fell asleep twice. started panicking only when my friend came to find me and i realise i cant remember anythg.
i have never been enthu for exams but this got to be the worst semester ever. i was oredi in a holiday mood after my first paper and literally just skimming thru my notes and articles. not in the least inclined to study at all. sighz. someone please smack me.
maybe i spent too much daydreaming and procrastinatin. bleargh. not good. like yest's fiasco where i was blogging thrice when i have 2 papers today. double bleargh.
i need some settlement. i feel like i'm still fumbling. searching for sth.. answers?? at a very wrong time when i shd be focussed on my books. i can only be distracted to a certain degree from my tots when i'm studyin. where's my willpower?
triple bleargh. the mind/heart/brain is not where it's sposed to be. its going haywire. one moment i'm blogging that kind of stuff on my blog. another moment, i feel i was going to be okay and the stuff i blogged is done only in a momentary fit of frustration. another moment, i dun think there's any settlement at all. another moment i thk i have found my inner peace.
Father Lord.. please hear my appeal to You. tell me what i have to do, guide me from the distractions and disturbances. let me find my true inner peace. let the feelings spill out once and for all, no more. let me forget. if only i can forget. help me erase all the deep marks and scars. let me start afresh. help me. amen.
Shu Ling Estrella @ 12:53 AM ~*~ |
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