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Monday, April 11, 2005
another probably uninteresting entry about my state of academic work.
seriously.
i could be getting cranky. as in old-woman, moody old cranky. cranky enough to respond to the cab-driver's comment that they are widening the Bukit Timah road so that traffic would be more smooth-going in future with a dumb question like "oh are they building a flyover?" when he has oredi said that they are widening the road and there is of cos no sign of a flyover in visible sight. cranky enough to be taking 2 cab rides. to and fro NUS just to hand in a freaking term paper. actually i dun need to take a cab ride back home but my malfunctioning mind was just screamin to me to just get out of the freaking campus as soon as i can, so i hopped into the first cab i could see. complete with jap curry rice for my sis and i for dinner plus 2 desserts to reward myself for completing the last term paper of the semester.
actually i dun even deserve a reward. i have not been at all good and hardworking to say the least this sem at all. ok lets take a reality check:
5 term papers
- EN3263 Spore Lit Assignment 1 (worth 25% of the module, meaning one-quarter of the module): C+
- SC3202 Race and Ethnic Relations soci paper(worth 30% i think): C+
- EN3268 Tragedy lit paper(worth 10%): C/C+ (a tragedy indeed)
- SC3101 Social Thought and Social Theory soci paper (worth 20%): grade yet decided
- EN3263 Spore Lit Assignment 2 (again worth 25%, meaning the 2 assignments alone are worth half the module. now i wonder wat mess i have gotten myself into): just handed in today. grade yet decided.
it is seriously not looking good. at least in the past semesters, i have a couple of As and Bs to cushion all the Cs, but this sem is looking bleak. very bleak. it could be my worst semester to date. that is, besides yr 1 sem 1. someone pls give me a smack to wake me up. no one in her/his right mind would dun give a heck over this kind of grades, ok unless he's a bigger slacker than this oredi very big slacker here. ok and all the talk about how grades do not matter, they dun reflect u as a person blah blah. much am i grateful to my frens who keep encouraging me, however, in all academic sense, it does matter!!!! thats becos i know im oredi cannot make it for honours, and my only hope is graduate with a decent pass. a merit. and dun even talk abt disappointing all those frens, family who have so much faith in me. i thk the person i have let down most is myself. cos i know i'm capable of better. so lets start blaming all the holidays this semester that have cropped up and totally interrupted the whole schedule, the crankier-than-me weather who decides one day it wants to burn on u till u become a sweating, roasting pig(and at the same time, burn ur brain cells along with it too) or on its better-mood days, decides to give you a shower or two which doesn't help to eliminate the cranky heat anyway, lets start blaming the drowsy bug that has been flying around and convincing me that more sleep is good, the procrastinator bug that tells me i need a break, to the point that i start to do my term papers only on the night before it is due. and i will not. i shall only blame myself for my lack of concentration and willpower. the times i have succumbed to sleep and temptation of just another hour of tv. and today even worse. i only managed to complete my last term paper on the dot. lying to my 2 frens from two modules separately that i cant go in to lessons cos i'm sick. and would they pls be so kind to tell me if i miss anything in the last lectures of the modules. and one of them even very kindly typed up and emailed me a revision of what they had done today. so shoot me. i have lied and still angels exist. chocs to her man. and chocs to frens who have encouraged me still despite my laziness, encouraged my slowly depleting confidence, who have helped me look over my papers, who have sent sms of encouragement to push me to get on with my paper when i'm on the verge of giving up. and smacks for me for being so lazy. i swear i gotta buck up for the exams. two weeks are all i have. two weeks to mug a full 12-weeks worth of work. wadever. i have been lazy long enough. to get a decent pass in this exam. reality check: gotta come up with a study plan tonite plus dld whatever lect notes i have not dlded yet. i give anyone the priviledge of smacking me on the head or hand or leg or butt if i dare be lazy again. :"(
Shu Ling Estrella @ 6:18 PM ~*~ |
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